“The secret of life is not what happens to you, but what you do with what happens to you.”
Norman Vincent Peale
On Feb. 16, 2010, Dick Foster, my husband and life partner, noticed a lump in his neck. For him, it was an oddity. For me (as a former nurse) it was frightening, because I suspected that it might be indicative of some type of cancer. That very day, he was seen by his physician who ordered antibiotics to treat any infection that might be lurking in his body. When the lump (enlarged lymph node) did not respond to treatment, he was referred to a specialist in head and neck cancers. My fear of the possibility of cancer was confirmed during Dick’s first appointment with the specialist. He was diagnosed with cancer on the base/back of the tongue, a type of cancer that is generally symptomless until it spreads to a lymph node which then becomes swollen. It is truly a frightening type of cancer, but can be cured if caught early enough.
Since the appointment with the specialist, our lives have been filled with endless doctor’s appointments, tests, scans, surgical procedures, and meetings with more doctors. We have laughed, I have cried, and we have talked endlessly about how to conquer this stranger in our midst, cancer. We have armed ourselves with treatment information, planned our lives around doing everything possible to permanently evict this stranger from our midst and to minimize the worry that accompanies the diagnosis and treatment of cancer.
I have watched as Dick has suffered the side effects of his first round of chemotherapy treatment and have been amazed at his ability to stay strong and continue to work (from home) even when he is not feeling well. His attitude is great, his ability to withstand my constant hovering presence and offerings of calorie-ladened milk shakes and frequent inquiries about his fluid intake, is impressive. I know that there will be some very challenging times over the next six months, but our relationship and love for each other will sustain us.
So, what good can come from this situation? We are both now focused on living a conscious life instead of living life unconsciously. We realize that the gift that comes with this challenge is that we have the opportunity to live more in the moment and less in the future, to take time to focus on what matters now, to be less concerned about things that we have no control over and to take control over things that do matter. We welcome the opportunity to mend the cracks in our relationship and to cement it with love and appreciation for each other and for our families and friends.
Dick has created this website to share his experience with cancer. He is committed to being cured and wants to share that journey with others. We welcome your support, thoughts, and prayers as Dick achieves his goal of curing the cancer in his body.
I am from South Africa and regularly receive Mary’s wonderful Monday Motivating Moments newsletter.
I am so sorry that you have cancer Dick. Living more consiously is possibly the best gift you could give yourself right now and spending your days in gratitude will attract more of the same. Read Dr Demartini’s book on gratitude – it’s very uplifting and makes perfect sense.
Dick, look at what the cancer has already taught you! It is a gift in so many ways…
All the best to you both. I will be tracking your progress and stand in awe as you heal.
Elsabe Manning
Elsabe,
Thank you for your encouragement. One of the affirmations we have is, “I can’t wait to see what good will come from this situation.”
Dick
My thoughts and prayers are with you Dick for a speedy and complete recovery.
Harry Goodman
Harry,
Thank you very much.
Dick
Elsabe,
Thank you for your encouragement. One of the affirmations we have is, “I can’t wait to see what good will come from this situation.”
Dick
Harry,
Thank you very much.
Dick
Good luck Dick, I’m convinced that a positive attitude is as much a part of recovery as any treatment.
Take care.
Julie
Hi Julie,
I agree with you! Thank you.
Dick
All the thoughts and prayers of my family go out to you and yours. I encourage and stand with you in your journey to beat this disease. I have known Mary from our other lives at DCI and I wish you both all the best in the world.
Hi Terry,
Thank you very much for your encouragement and support! With lots of help, I will beat the cancer.
Thanks, Dick
I’m hoping that you become cancer-free in a short time, and you will tell us all about your journey at our next THS reunion.
Hi Phil,
Good to hear from you! That’s a great idea.
I hope all is well with you and your family.
Dick
Dick,
I just heard from Harry Goodman about your diagnosis and wish to echo Phil’s remarks on your recovery being swift and complete.
Two of the ENT docs at Vanderbilt were colleagues of mine from Boston, Ron Eavey and Bob Ossoff. They have a superb head and neck facility.
Good luck, I know you are in good hands.
Zeno
Hi Zeno,
Great to hear from you! Thanks for your support and reassurance about Vanderbilt Cancer Center. My experience at Vanderbilt has been very positive with everyone I’ve met. I’ve not met either of your colleagues yet, but I will check next week to see if they are in the clinic and share our connection.
James Netterville is my otolaryngologist and Barbara Murphy is my oncologist. They are both awesome.
I hope all is well with you and your family. Tell Harry I said hello and send my best!
Thanks, Dick
Dear Dick,
How right you are to strive for such a positive outlook and outcome. You used the word ‘opportunity’ in your blog – not an opportunity that you would knowingly choose but you never know after this is all behind you it may prove to be just that.
From a persoanl perspective of life threatening set backs, in hindsight they have been a gift. The book Love, Medicine and Miracles by Bernie Seagle was a great help.
I am drawn to the wonderful power of mind that you clearly have. Walk tall. With much love and prayers, Bernie and children.
Hi Bernie,
Thanks for the encouragement. Love, Medicine and Miracles is next on my reading list. I’m reading Making Miracles by Paul Pearsall right now.
Thanks, Dick
Mary, what you wrote is so touching.. and so very true! The dark cloud of cancer certainly does have a truly amazing silver lining! The thing is, you two have had so many big dreams that you have realized with your big hearts, foresight, courage and tenacity that I know cancer doesn’t stand a chance against your perfect partnership!
And Dick.. hurry up and get better. When you feel good enough for someone to beat you down in Dominoes, just give me a call!
Your strength is not only found in your courage and your willingness to go forth into this “battle” but more importantly in the love that you all share.
It is powerful!
We are in full support…
with love,
Courts
Thank you very much Courts. I appreciate your support!
Dick
My prayers are with you and I will put you on a prayer chain. I enjoy your wife’s column every week. I know with the positive thinking she has and I am sure you have it as well, you will get through this and be cancer free. The mind is a powerful tool!
Leeann
Dick & Mary,
Thank you for sharing your incredible journey with all of us. I have appreciated MMMM and find so much support in it. To share your personal challenge, which you are so clearly thinking positively about in spite of how difficult and painful it must be, is truly a gift that can only bring healing back to you. Blessings to you both—Deb